To Heal, We Have to Feel

When you feel off-balance, what’s your first impulse?

Do you stop, breathe, look inward, and feel what’s going on inside? Or do you push the feelings aside, reach for a distraction, and keep moving? That's the easier path, and most of us take it.

Deep healing asks for a different response. It asks us to look inward, find the thought that's causing distress, name the feeling that's rising, and let it move through us. If not judged or ignored all feelings move through us and out.

Recently I went through a challenging stretch. My energy felt off. This came on top of my grief over my mom's death a few months before. It felt like a lot to handle.

So, I paused and tuned into the energy moving up and down my body. What emotions were emerging? What stressful thought was I holding? Emotions are energy, and they tell us what's happening in the moment.

My usual practice is the neuroplasticity steps I'm passionate about:

1.   Identify the thought.

2.   Identify the feeling.

3.   Feel the feeling.

4.   Marinate in the good.

This is a grounded practice. We embody the feeling and release it. By taking in the good we form new neural connections in our brain.

But that day, in the middle of back-to-back meetings, I couldn't do my full practice. So, I tried something else.

I asked myself: How can I be with this so it doesn't take me over?

I noticed that my habit is to say, I am anxious or I feel anxious. I stopped and said instead, I notice anxiety right now.

Immediately, I felt a pause, some space, some breathing room. The anxiety wasn't my whole identity anymore. Naming it that way took the charge away. I felt the emotion coming and going, but it was no longer my identity.

When my meetings were done, I went back to the feeling that had been rising. This time I let myself name it fully: I am anxious. I let my body feel all of it. I breathed into my body. It began to shake, and grief poured out. Then came a deep release.

I offer this to you as another pathway. When you can't stop and feel an emotion fully in the moment, you can still give yourself some intentional space with "I notice…"

Then come back to it later. That second step matters. Deep healing happens when we let ourselves fully feel what's arising and let it leave our bodies. Feelings we don't experience don't go away. They get pushed down, only to be triggered later. And if we keep stepping back without ever returning to those disowned feelings, we can drift toward numbness and disconnection from ourselves.

The next time a hard feeling rises, say to yourself: "I notice ___ right now." Feel the space that opens up.

Then set aside time later that day to come back to it. Name it fully, breathe into your body, and let it move through you.

I close my practice with these words: I AM Light. I AM Love.

Notice the difference. I am anxious is a passing state. I AM Light is my essence, my divine nature. Each day I picture love and light flooding through my body, within me and around me. It's soothing and life-giving, and it reminds me of my alignment with the Divine, the God consciousness that I AM.

Then I pray: Be with me, God. Show me the way. Help me open to sense, see, and feel your presence.

We are never alone. God, angels, spirit guides, and our loved ones who have passed are always walking with us on our path.